


daisy

by matchamin



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Blood and Injury, Hanahaki Disease, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Other, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love, hyunggu is a good boy he doesnt deserve this, pls read the tags, this is actually very sad and im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27161071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matchamin/pseuds/matchamin
Summary: hyunggu is a boy full of love and bright smiles. he is adored by his friends, filling their lives with his laughter and kindness. hyunggu is a boy who is also very sick. in the late hours of the day when his friends have bid farewell for the evening, he locks himself in the bathroom and coughs up flower petals laced in crimson.hyunggu is a boy loved by many, except for one.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	daisy

_you with your blue eyes. it’s like when the water is so calm and clear it looks like glass. i jumped in and now the glass is shattered everywhere. i know whatever i do, wherever i go from here, i’ll feel the glass slicing the bottom of my feet. it’s just…everywhere. it’s everywhere, you are everywhere; in me, around me, my every thought and breath. i can see the blood too, from the bottoms of my feet. it’s all over the floor. it’s staining my skin. if i stand here long enough, will you help me out? please be gentle. i always thought you were delicate, but i’m afraid if you touch me, i’ll crack._

\--

october brings with it warm sunshine, a clear blue sky and a biting wind or days which are grey and dark and the rain never-ending. normally, such erratic changes in weather leave hyunggu very confused about how he should feel with each passing day. but these days, he always felt the same no matter the weather. he would laugh and smile with his friends all day, in the library or cafes and the park on milder days. if he coughed, he would say it was a tickle in his throat or the approaching winter chill. then he would excuse himself, say he was tired or had too much work, and then he’d run home, lock the door and hide in his bathroom, from dusk till dawn on some nights, throwing up flower petals coated in crimson.

just a mere few months ago, under the summer haze of long days and bright colours, in the park playing amongst the grass dotted with daisies, hyunggu had never felt more alive. a huge swelling in his chest, a cavern of butterflies fluttering around making him dizzy. when they smiled, when they laughed and it rang in his ear like bells or a gentle melody. the softness of their skin made him feel he should only ever handle them with care; he thought they were so delicate and loving, but in the end it was him who was shattered. now the glass was scattered across the floor and he was stumbling around cutting the bottom of his feet and watching the blood seep into the carpet.

the summer of warm evenings and a warmth within him faded with each day in the approach of september. it began merely as a pain in his chest and some sleepless nights that left him looking paler with dark shadows under his eyes. hyunggu figured this was just how heartbreak worked, weaving its way within him pulling on his chest and his heart, and keeping his mind heavy so he couldn’t fall asleep. but the feeling only worsened with the arrival of golden leaves and mist in the early mornings. he would wake to the frost on the grass that melted to dew with the rising sun, and he spent this time hanging over the basin in his bathroom coughing until his throat was like sandpaper. his friends noticed the way he hung his head, and how his laugh never quite bounced around the room like it used to. they said his eyes didn’t glisten with stars like they did before and with a weary smile hyunggu would tell them it was the insomnia or the cold weather and not the ache in his heart that threatened to pull him into the abyss and beyond reach from their loving hands.

an early morning in october, hyunggu woke before sunlight to a pitch-dark room with a tight feeling in his chest like something was entangling itself among his ribs and in his heart. fingers like ice, he stumbled to bathroom and crouched in front of the toilet. utter dread built up within him until his breathing was erratic, hands clammy and a sheen of sweat across his brow, though he was still shivering. tears spilled over and he gripped the toilet seat and hoped and prayed the pain would subside. eventually the feeling rose to his throat and he coughed out into the basin. it was like there was a hand gripped around his throat and holding it tight, like it was impossible to breath. when it gradually subsided, hyunggu was left keeling and staring at the blood that coated the toilet basin. amongst the thick, crimson liquid, were pure white daisy petals.

the heartbreak still weighed heavily upon him, but hyunggu had not yet forgotten what it felt like to be in love. every smile and laugh that would escape him had always been so genuine, like he could see joy in everything. he felt electric and every touch left a spark that sent him spinning, warming his cheeks and filling up his chest with a beautiful light melody. it was a feeling he was unsure he could let go of, to have physically extracted from him. to never love again, it just wasn’t within him. but to settle with such a fate. to let this thing grow and grow inside him, filling the spaces around his lungs and twisting round and round getting tighter with every passing day. could he let this love drown him in his own despair?

behind the false smiles and quiet laughs, hyunggu let the love grow within him lacing itself through his ribs and with his lungs. he nursed the feeling, watered it and gave it sunshine. it began to outgrow the spaces inside him, weaving its way into new crevices until there was nowhere left to grow. the love grew stronger and stronger and tighter and tighter suffocating him slowly until one day, it bloomed into a beautiful pure white daisy.

\--

_“love burns everything, even myself, and fades away like a smoke when i look back. left here with pain and resentment, all i can do is muttering the lie that i hope for your tragedy. if emotions were light, the pain of tearing each other apart would be a chaos of colours. but when those colours come together, they shine brighter and brighter until they become a single white ray of light. emotions are petals, each with a different shade, and these petals together bloom into a pure white daisy. in the end, we return to our most innocent state, which can lead to another beginning. sorrow lasts a second, but what we share in our universe is eternal.”_

**Author's Note:**

> this was quite sad. v sorry.
> 
> come say hi!
> 
> twt: @matchamiin


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